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Christmas just doesn’t feel the same now that none of us will be forced to watch the most unhinged holiday special ever to air thousands of times.
Millennials and Gen Xers will likely agree that, for all the benefits that the age of streaming has brought to our lives, both during the holiday season and year-round, kids these days are missing out on the simple pleasures of flipping through the channels during late fall to early winter in search of a holiday-themed episode of one of their favorite cartoons, only to settle for whatever colorful festive fair was available. And, since kids’ channels couldn’t simply air Frosty the Snowman, A Charlie Brown Christmas and The Fairly OddParents Christmas special on repeat 24/7 between Halloween and Christmas, the networks, too, had to settle for some second, third and fourth choices for festive programming.
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Enter Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer, the 2000 made-for-TV animated special adaptation of the 1979 Christmas novelty song by Elmo ‘n’ Patsy. Its budget was low, its art style dated and its fans nearly nonexistent, but, through sheer force of syndicated repetition, Grandma Got Run Over forced its way into our — maybe not hearts, but intestines?
The WB original Christmas special told the extended story of the poor subject of the annoying earworm “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,” but while the novelty song mercifully concludes in three minutes and 30 seconds, the elder abuse epic from 2000 took 51 minutes to wrap up before Cartoon Network switched over to Dexter’s Lab’s “Dexter vs. Santa’s Claws” special.
In Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, Grandma Spankenheimer doesn’t just get run over by the reindeer — no, that’s just the start of the shitshow. When Grandma disappears with little more than a hoofprint left behind, our protagonist Jake must search for the truth about the accident while his nefarious Cousin Mel tricks Grandpa into giving her power of attorney so that she can file a lawsuit against Santa Claus. However, Cousin Mel secretly has plans to sell off Grandma and Grandpa’s general store in the process.
The resulting tale is a complicated conspiracy of elder fraud, kidnapping, corporate consolidation and litigation that garnered negative reviews among the few critics who bothered to watch Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, but the special left an impression on an entire generation of cartoon-lovers that lasts to this day. Surprisingly, after the topic of Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer’s nostalgic shittiness went viral, the few fans of the special came out in full force to protest its negative association. “Did you just slander this masterpiece???” one such defender demanded.
“Dogshit???? More like masterpiece!,” another concurred.
“god damn i did not realize that ‘Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer had shooters” the original poster admitted — though it’s Grandma herself who probably needs the backup.