‘I am very broken’: Hong Kong domestic workers speak up about mental health

On some nights, sleeping pills were the only way Marilyn was able to get rest. Thoughts about her worsening relationship with her employer, the death of her aunt back in the Philippines and harassment over a loan to cover her mother’s hospital fees kept her up till the early hours.

Despite being plunged into depression, it was work as usual for the 40-year-old domestic worker the next day. On Sundays, her only day off, she stayed home instead of going to church, where she used to sing and play guitar. She said she also started experiencing hair loss, would barely eat and did not even have the energy to shower.

The suicidal thoughts began and Marilyn said she wrote a “goodbye letter” one August day. Then she received a message from her daughter that made her realise she was loved and needed in this world, and she decided to seek help from HELP for Domestic Workers, an NGO that offers free counselling.

“My friends are thinking, ‘She’s strong, she can do it’,” said Marilyn, who asked to use only her first name to protect her privacy. “But deep inside, they don’t know that I am very broken, emotionally and financially, everything. “

Mental health struggles are not uncommon among Hong Kong’s 340,000 domestic workers, the backbone of many of the city’s families.

According to a 2020 study by the Chinese University of Hong Kong, domestic workers rate their mental health worse than the general population due to factors such as financial circumstances, work pressure and living conditions.

HELP for Domestic Workers said it had arranged mental health counselling for around 60 workers seeking support last year. They were troubled by everything from loan repayments to conflict with employers to relationship problems.

Rachel Li, the head of case management research at HELP, said the nature of their work puts them in particularly vulnerable positions. Many arrive in Hong Kong already in debt to hiring agencies, she said, and are the sole providers for their families back home.

“Their salaries are just not enough to support everybody back home. At some point they will end up taking out loans, and lending practices in Hong Kong are very exploitative,” Li said.

“Financial well-being and mental health is of course interrelated, and if you’re constantly stressed about money, your mental health is going to suffer.”

‘Too scared to cut the contract’

In some cases, the employers on whom the domestic workers depend for their livelihoods are the very reason for their poor mental health.

Legally required to live with their employers, domestic workers are often subject to long working hours, NGOs say. They are exempt from the city’s minimum wage policy and subject to a separate minimum monthly wage of HK$4,990, meaning they work more but earn less than the average local worker in exchange for free room and board.

A survey of nearly 2,000 domestic workers from August 2020 to 2021 found an increase in negative employment conditions to be associated with a rise symptoms of anxiety and depression. 

The most commonly reported factors were being made to work on their day off, an overcrowded home environment or lack of privacy, and not always having enough to eat, according to the study.

Jane Barinki, a domestic worker, said she had a poor relationship with her first employer in Hong Kong.

Still, Barinki said she worked with that employer for five years until the family emigrated, referring Barinki to a friend, who hired her as a domestic worker. Barinki said she is much happier working for her present employer.

“I was too scared to cut the contract because I was afraid that I would not be able to find another employer quickly,” the 52-year-old said.

She told HKFP she was a single parent, and had two children aged 12 and 14 in the Philippines.

Li, from HELP, said it was common for domestic workers to tolerate working conditions that were “not ideal” because they depended on their jobs for everything – for income, for shelter, for food, for medical care. There was also concern that terminating their contracts would affect job opportunities later.

Domestic workers who do not finish the full term of their contract have 14 days to find a new employer before they must return to their home country. Activists have long opposed the policy, known as the “two-week rule,” saying it discourages domestic workers from leaving abusive bosses. The government says the rule is needed to prevent domestic workers from overstaying and working illegally.

“They feel obliged to stay… because for workers to get a visa to come to work in Hong Kong is difficult in and of itself. If they terminate their contract prematurely, their next [visa] application might be scrutinised by the Immigration Department and they might not get a visa,” Li said.

“They would think, if I resign, what if I cannot get a new employer, then what do I do with my family back home?” she added.

Breaking the stigma

Much as in Hong Kong society at large, mental health remains a stigmatised topic among domestic workers. Most of those with whom HKFP spoke said they did not talk much to family or friends about their mental health.

Annabel said she had largely kept to herself since developing depression in 2022, after finding out that her husband in the Philippines had been unfaithful. The associated negative thoughts have affected her work – she has broken down in tears while doing household chores and twice forgot to pick up her employers’ son from school because she was distracted.

While she used to keep her Sundays busy – attending swimming classes and computer courses – now, she mostly stays home on her day off.

“Talking to my counsellor has helped a lot. I feel comfortable opening myself to her,” Annabel said. “But I’m not ready yet [to go out and meet my friends]. I just want to be alone.”

Marilyn said she had only talked to one or two friends about her struggles. She was afraid that people would gossip about her.

Still, some initiatives by NGOs and at universities are trying to break the stigma and raise awareness of mental health.

On a Sunday morning in October, Inna Abrogena addressed around two dozen domestic workers at the Chinese University of Hong Kong. Quiet pervaded the room as she told the women to take a deep breath and observe how they were feeling.

Abrogena, a research assistant at the university’s social work department, was leading a session as part of a programme called Dreamcatchers. It aims to teach domestic workers how to look after their mental health and support peers struggling with similar issues.

Asked what activities they could do to boost mental wellness, domestic workers suggested singing, hiking and the dance fitness programme Zumba. The research assistant also advised them on what to say – and what not to say – to friends troubled by mental health problems. For example, she said, it was better to say it was okay to feel sad than to tell them to “just stay positive.”

“Mental health issues are not something [domestic workers] easily open up about, especially with the older age group,” she told HKFP. “People may think if you’re talking about mental health, you’re talking about crazy people, not [considering] that everyday people can have mental health problems too.”

Li, from HELP, said some domestic workers spoke of the shame or guilt associated with mental health struggles, often hiding their problems and putting on a brave face.  

“We get encouraged when we see people saying ‘I’m depressed… I’d like to apply for your counselling programme,’” she said.

Marilyn still has moments where she feels down, but says her mental state is better now that the harassment from the loan company has stopped. Her relationship with her employer has also improved after the pair shared an emotional moment. Marilyn’s boss hugged her and apologised, acknowledging she had been too demanding.

“It was a very, very hard time. No matter how strong you are, depression can get you,” she said.

💡If you are in need of support, please call: The Samaritans 2896 0000 (24-hour, multilingual), Suicide Prevention Centre 2382 0000 or the government mental health hotline on 18111. The Hong Kong Society of Counselling and Psychology provides a WhatsApp hotline in English and Chinese: 6218 1084. See also: HKFP’s comprehensive guide to mental health services in Hong Kong.

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