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A traveller who dropped out of school at 13 and couldn’t drink alcohol before marriage said she likes the strict rules – and would raise her own daughter the same way.
Zoe Lynch, 19, was raised in the Irish traveller community in Naas, County Kildare in Ireland.
She grew up with her parents and siblings in a house until she married Tom Delaney, 19, last year, who she now lives with in a caravan.
She grew up with a strict set of rules and traditional values – including not being allowed to have sleepovers with friends, and learning to cook and clean from age eight.
She left school at 13 and is a full-time housewife while Tom goes out to work – and he pays all their expenses.
She says she is expected by her community to always look glam – with tanned skin, full eyelashes, and styled hair.
But despite the strict rules, she vows if she ever has a daughter she’d raise her in the same way.
Zoe, who now lives in Tipperary, Ireland, said: “I got married at 18 and people are surprised by the young age, but in our community some people marry as young as 14.”
“My husband provides everything for me.”
“I dropped out of school at 13, and it’s common to drop out at that age or younger.”
“Some don’t go at all – none of our grandparents were educated.”
Zoe said one of the strictest rules she lived by is that women can’t drink or smoke before they’re married because it is “disrespectful”.
And even when married, ‘partying holidays’ for big groups of young men or women aren’t allowed, she said.
She said: “If you go on holiday, it’s with your husband or your family.”
And sleepovers with anyone apart from family are completely banned, she said.
She left school at 13 to take on household responsibilities, and learned to cook and clean from the age of eight.
And women must always make their homes feel welcoming when guests come around, according to the rules she was raised under.
She said: “Women have to offer them tea and food and make them feel welcome.”
She said she cleans thoroughly every day, using bleach, to make sure the home is spotless for when Tom gets back from work.
And she always has to look good for her husband as well as looking presentable for everyone else in the community.
Zoe said: “The way we dress and look is different to non-travellers. We have the hair styles and makeup – our eyebrows and eyelashes and nails always need to be done.
“I would say about 90 percent of the traveller community uses sunbeds too, just so we all have a nice colour. If you look scruffy you’d get talked about.”
Despite the strict set of traditional rules, she Zoe said she wouldn’t raise her own children any differently.
She added: “Looking around me, we all do the same thing so the way we live is normal to us. If I had a child, I’d give them the same rules. These rules have gone on for years and years.”