Feel like you’ve seen it all? This cruise will change your mind

The surrounds of Puerto Madryn could be South Australia if it weren’t for the snooty guanacos, and flamingos bent like question marks above small lagoons. It could equally be a flat Wales. In Puerto Madryn I encounter another unexpected passion on a shore excursion: locals fiercely proud of their Welsh immigrant heritage.

But wistful, weary Argentina doesn’t really feel like anywhere else. It’s one of those one-of-a-kind places every traveller hopes for. Its capital has old-world glamour and dainty coffee shops, while its countryside celebrates macho cowboy culture and barbecues.

Its people are proud and passionate and don’t forget their history. At every port, we’re fervently reminded that the Islas Malvinas, or Falkland Islands, ought to be Argentine. Monuments to dead soldiers sit on every windy waterfront like sore teeth the Argentines can’t help poking.

I detect passion in the subjects of our onboard lectures: working-class heroine and president’s wife Eva Peron, legendary tango singer Carlos Gardel, former revolutionary and prisoner turned Uruguayan president Jose “Pepe” Mujica.

As we sail the Atlantic on a day at sea, guest Argentinian lecturer Kevin Saslavchik provides a balanced view of the 1982 Falklands War and its causes, in which he includes fascinating video clips including the opinions of a Falklands islander and an Argentine war veteran.

And then we’re sailing into the Falkland Islands themselves. Low, scraped lumps of rock recede to high hills. We tender into Port Stanley past fishing ships: 50 per cent of Spain’s calamari comes from these waters.

Port Stanley is, much like everywhere else in the South Atlantic – eccentric. Locals celebrate a midwinter plunge into 5C water to get a Certificate of Lunacy signed by the governor. Red pillar post boxes are still stamped with George VI’s initials. Our guide Tim lost an eye when the RAF accidentally bombed his farmhouse. Local ladies sell jam made from red teaberries, and penguins waddle on the beaches.

As we leave, two sea lions appear on the pier to bask in the sun. The light is beautiful as the ship sails, giving a glow to the low green vegetation, and a yellow sheen to the Falklands’ exposed rock, teasing out the beauty of this wild and grim place.

Patagonia is nipping at my ears and sneaking under my jacket as I pace the deck on our way back to continental South America. Viking Jupiter’s relaxed spa – a retreat of style without fuss – is the place to warm up with a plunge into its Scandinavian-style hot tub or a session in its sauna. Then I flop into the warm-water swimming pool.

South America ends in scoured rock and salty winds, snowy mountains and smelly sea lions. We dock in Ushuaia, where tours and restaurants and shops all market themselves as The End of the World.

Buenos Aires is 3000 kilometres away, Antarctica 1000 kilometres, and a sky swollen with dark clouds presses down like a lid.

The scenery is Alaskan, but Ushuaia’s bright yellow church and red-roofed buildings might have been teleported from Mexico. The wind is on a mission to blow me into the harbour. I’m surprised to discover Ushuaia was established as a penal colony. A Viking guide takes us to the old prison, a grim, cramped and frigid place that must have seemed as remote as Port Arthur in Tasmania to its 19th-century inmates.

Ushuaia is an unprepossessing town of ankle-breaking pavements, shabby buildings and an air of neglect, but it exhilarates me. The landscapes here have chilly passion. They can seduce you or, as they did to early European explorers, chew you up and spit you out.

Viking Jupiter isn’t shaken by the Strait of Magellan nor the Chilean fjords. We glide through scenery of distant mountains, volcanoes like witch’s hats, glaciers like crumbled meringue. Seabirds gather like extras in a Hitchcock movie.

I barely see a house, a boat, a sign of life. Only in the Australian outback have I seen such empty vastness. Even the ship’s officers come out on deck to stare, as if mesmerised.

Distances are big, and this cruise has quite a few days at sea. The hours seem short, however. Viking is the thinking person’s cruise company. Bookshelves are well stocked with history and travel books, and every ship hosts a resident historian. Ours is Geoff Peters, formerly of the Royal Australian Navy, who covers local history and maritime exploits and engages guest in Q&A sessions.

Guests scurry from wildlife watching to astronomy lectures, mahjong competitions to afternoon tea in the Wintergarden. One day at the Pool Grill, waiters serve churrascaria-style grilled meat as a band plays.

Chile feels different from Argentina. Punta Arenas, Ushuaia’s rival, is more polished. The tour coaches are better, the sights more tourist-trim. The town centre is full of weatherbeaten old mansions built on the wool and gold booms of the 19th century.

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I hike into Magellan’s Strait Park with enthusiastic guide Bartolo. His passion is for birds and endemic plants, and such is his enthusiasm that I find myself becoming entranced by meadowlarks and lichens amid the outsized scenery.

Our final port, Valparaiso, in contrast to Punta Arenas, is a rickety madness of time-worn buildings, street markets and graffitied neighbourhoods that cling to steep hillsides. There’s no city planning at all, observes our local Viking guide Ervands with a chuckle, as if he approves.

But who cares? Valparaiso too has passion. You can see it in the explosion of street art, the wanton bougainvillaea, the blaring music and mad clamour in every plaza. This is a city unlike any of the others we’ve visited: a suitable end to a cruise for those who think they’ve seen it all.

THE DETAILS

CRUISE
Viking Cruises’ 18-day South America & Chilean Fjords cruise between Buenos Aires and Santiago (Valparaiso) visits Argentina, Uruguay, the Falkland Islands and Chile, and sails iconic maritime destinations such as the Beagle Channel, Cape Horn and the Strait of Magellan.

BOOK
There are eight departures between November 2024 and March 2025, from $9995 a person including accommodation, all meals and meal-time drinks, Wi-Fi, gratuities and a complimentary shore excursion in each port. See vikingcruises.com.au

MORE
argentina.travel
uruguaynatural.com
falklandislands.com
chile.travel

The writer was a guest of Viking Cruises.