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A father who lost his eye after an ex-girlfriend’s partner attacked him with corrosive liquid revealed he is undergoing treatment for alcoholism linked to the horrific assault.
Francis Costello, from Ballyphehane in Cork City, broke his silence on the severe mental trauma he has endured in the year since his attacker’s sentencing on November 20, 2023.
Francis has just completed a residential programme with the Tabor Fellowship and is currently staying in a supported living environment. The former retail worker underwent residential treatment between August 7 and October 20.
He explained the transition house, which he shares with others battling addiction, represents phase three of his alcohol addiction rehabilitation.
John Paul Carey pleaded guilty at Cork Circuit Criminal Court last year to the most significant charge of assault causing serious harm, as well as assaults on two other parties on the same occasion.
Tensions had been mounting between him and Francis in the weeks leading up to the horror attack, which occurred at about 9pm on March 4, 2022, at the home where Francis lives in Ballyphehane.
Francis, who was an innocent party, recalled seeing Carey standing there to greet him with what looked like a bottle of water. Before he knew it, he was on the floor in unbearable agony.
Francis’ two brothers, Roy and John, found themselves caught in the crossfire. However, their injuries were not life-threatening. John Paul Carey was handed a nine-and-a-half year prison sentence for the attack.
Despite the nature of the attack, and the trauma since, Francis says he has let go of any hatred for his attacker.
“I don’t carry any hatred towards him today. I suppose if I am being honest he helped me become a stronger person. I do believe I am a lot stronger today than I ever was in terms of how I look at life. I don’t take life as seriously now because I know it’s to be enjoyed. I have no more words for John Paul. What he did to me was inhumane. All I can do is wish him well.”
He detailed his spiral into alcohol addiction.
“It was hard at the start. I got closure around the criminal aspect of what happened, but after sentencing, the hospital appointments started to die down and I was left with this big void. The hardest part was seeing the pain my family went through because of a grudge against me.
“It served a purpose for a while before I reached a point where I wasn’t happy about the drinking or how my life was. That was when I decided to enter residential treatment.”
Francis is full of praise for Tabor fellowship helping him through such a dark time in his life.
“Between my counsellors and my peers, I met amazing people who really helped me with the anger I was carrying around. They addressed the alcoholism but I also had a lot of pain, grief and loss. I can’t praise the Tabor Fellowship enough.
“I don’t focus on what I lost anymore. I still have a great life ahead of me. Nothing material out there is ever going to give me the life I need. My life is very simple now and that’s the way I want it.
The Cork man’s five-year-old son has also motivated him to stay strong.
“I told my son the truth back in May. I didn’t plan on telling him. I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to tell him what really happened. Up till then, I had told him that I fell at work.”
Francis said he knew he had to be honest with his son, especially after he asked how does someone lose their eye by falling at work.
“I told him what had happened and it was like watching how an adult might react to this kind of news. I couldn’t believe the questions he was asking me. He asked me if granddad was there on the night it happened and I was able to tell him that he wasn’t.
“I was glad that he believed me even though I worried that maybe I had told him too much. I spoke to a therapist about this afterwards. Telling my son was really difficult since the person responsible is involved with his mother. I’m only human, but I try my best to answer his questions in an age-appropriate way. I’m constantly telling him “I am still your dad” and “I can still see you.” That’s the most important thing of all.”
Being a parent has played an instrumental role in Francis’s recovery.
“Being in recovery is priceless. I was recently at my son’s parent-teacher meeting. He makes me so proud. He has started in Junior Infants and is loving it. It was such a joy hearing about how well he is doing. The teacher told me that he’s very articulate and always eager to move on to the next thing. When the rest of the class are counting to 10 he’ll want to count to 100. It’s lovely to hear his teacher speak so highly of him.
“I collect him from school once a week and take him to the library to help him with his homework. I’ve been on the housing list for 13 years and my dream is to one day have my own place where he can do homework with me.”
Francis is also on the waiting list for surgery — at the Royal Victoria Eye and Ear Hospital in Dublin, which it is hoped will restructure his eye socket to facilitate a prosthetic eye.
“They will have to take tissue from the back of my mouth and stitch it to my socket as it was so damaged by the chemicals used in the attack. However, there’s only a 50/50 chance the operation will be successful.
“It was frustrating to be waiting so long because I still lack confidence when it comes to my appearance. There is a lot of uncertainty around the operation. However, the way I look at it is if the surgery doesn’t work I’ll be no worse off than I was before. If it works and I can be fitted for a prosthetic I will have to get a replacement every few years at a cost of €2,200. There is a lot to weigh up.
“My biggest worry, however, isn’t the surgery but that will something will happen to my other eye. I know I have to protect it. This is something that is on my mind a lot.”
Despite all the hurdles, Francis said he sees a bright future ahead.
He spoke about how the anger that once consumed him has now been resolved.
“I did feel aggrieved that there was no compensation for being a victim of crime. Now, I realise that no amount of money is going to take away that pain and suffering.
“Equally, there was no sentence long enough for the person who did this to make me feel okay in myself. The important thing now is that he is no longer living in my head rent-free. That, to me is worth everything.”